year end slap

I attended this choir concert yesterday: 

and at the mall's lobby where the concert took place, there was this World Press Photo exhibition which encourage the understanding of the world through quality photojournalism. Bitter and heartbreaking photos were shown, from a Middle-East girl with a big hole on her nose, super crowded prison somewhere in Africa, series of unfortunate events caught by the Google Street View, and even a beautifully composed seri of photographs showing "then and now" idea of some places. But nothing turned my head more than this photograph:

and the explanation that followed:

Andrew McConell
Ireland, Panos Pictures for Der Spiegel
1st Prize Art and Entertainment Singles 
Joséphine Nsimba Mpongo, 37, practices the cello in the Kimbanguiste neighborhood of Kinshasa, Democratic Republic of Congo. She is a member of the Orchestre Symphonique Kimbanguiste (OSK), Central Africa’s only symphony orchestra. During the day, Joséphine sells eggs in Kinshasa’s main market, and rehearses with the orchestra most evenings during the week. The OSK was founded by its current conductor Armand Diangienda in 1994. Initially, just a few dozen musicians shared the small number of instruments they had at their disposal. Today, the OSK can muster 200 players for a concert. Most are self-taught amateurs who hold down day jobs all over the city. 

[official post on the website]

My first reaction was *silent* then "bless that lady and all members of the orchestra, and may all their passions for music be kept alive". I'm telling you how lucky we are (I am) for being able to practice or rehearse properly in proper places, for being able to purchase decent musical instruments, for having all things provided when doing performances, for being able to learn any musical instruments you (and I) want anytime or anywhere, if only we have the will.

Keep in mind that every time we play a tune, we have the spirit of every musician in the world: good or bad, an expert or a beginner, old or young, rich or poor, with her own musical instrument or borrowed. No need to brag about your shiny instrument, spacious studio, or even your extraordinary ability in reading musical excerpt. Don't even whine if you're still borrowing guitar from your friend, rehearse full band in a small 3 x 3 studio, or simply if you can only play the I - III - V chords.

Happy new year.

may your days be merry and bright

guitar pusjur session #2

Christmas Edition
+ Vera | Robin | Canon 5D | Yamaha SLG101S | Altec Lansing computer speaker | Personal christmas card | Candle | Pusjur | Away in a Manger

guitar pantry session #1

+ Vera | Robin | Yamaha SLG101S | Computer Speaker | Pantry | Canon 5D | Wish You Were Here

in the making

her first memory

A loud noise appears as her tiny body tumbles inside a very tight, crowded space; the world is upside down. Screams, cries, all come out of sudden in a language she barely understands. Four, five, six people, all she knows is everybody shouts for help; she doesn't even feel any pain. Confusion is still tingling in her mind while solid-red liquid splats everywhere: to their clothes. to her clothes, to her face. Her perception on fear and pain will never be the same.
_____________

It was a car accident; the moment she learned that she's living.

the dragon warrior

"Are you kiddin' me? We're warriors, right? Nerves of steel! Souls of platinum! Like you! So hard core you don't feel anything."

Pak Raden

Trivia: Suyadi a.k.a. Pak Raden is actually an art school graduate who worked as an illustrator/painter. Just saying :)

after all these years

Some thirteen years ago, we were classmates. We lived in the same neighborhood, and we took the same school bus. We hadn't really met each other ever since, leaving us clueless on what's the other friend is actually doing or struggling with.

Meeting again as adults brought back memories and stories untold. Not that I want to go back to those days, but as my dear friend Adis said, the more we grow up, the more responsibilities we should bear. A glimpse picture of childhood seems refreshing then.

P.S.: dear Viddy, I didn't upload your photos on facebook. I only post them here on my blog :p

P.P.S.: that Viddy guy has four little bunny pets cutely named Chibi, Kimi, Mili and Milo. Yes, we almost died laughing right away after a frown of amazement.

recovery

| mistakes | anger | violation | riot | misunderstanding | insensibility | trouble | disturbance | abjection | hatred | dishonor | overwhelm | pride | confusion | doubt | denial | restlessness | recovery |

always.

Suddenly saw this video shared by a group on facebook.



P.S.: I miss high school.

a never ending loop

"The road is like a never ending loop," this ten years old girl said. "When you think you were at the very front of all cars in this so called race, suddenly another car appeared in front of you. If you were the last car, suddenly another car chased behind you. Even if it was a dull, deserted street, you were never the leader. You'd always find the other car."

swimming pool all over again

So this is holiday season. My little brother is taking a swimming course for days and I occasionally accompany him to the pool. The thing about this swimming pool sketches is I don't swim, so I have plenty of time to make drawings.

And the thing about a small sketchbook is I can't draw that much *desperately need a bigger sketchbook*

gunungan

The Gunungan symbolizes the cosmos, the beginning and the end of everything. It is placed in the center of the Wayang Kulit screen before the drama begins, separating the opposed groups of characters and again at the end of the performance. It is also used during the play for scene changes and strong emotions involving fire, earth and water.

source: old.blades.free.fr/utilities/wayang.htm

Elephants are a symbol of wisdom in Asian cultures and are famed for their memory and intelligence, where their intelligence level is thought to be equal to that of dolphins and primates. Aristotle once said the elephant was "the beast which passeth all others in wit and mind." The word "elephant" has its origins in the Greek ἐλέφας, meaning "ivory" or "elephant". (source)

my sketching tools

I miss my old sketchbook

... so I drew on some blank pages found. This one is on the 'pocket' page; the very last two pages that probably weren't intended to be filled with drawings. But, who cares?

I freaking need to keep on task and not distracted with a million time-wasters waiting a button away.

table mat sketch

Pendopo

Bajaj Bajuri is a TV series that was aired in several private TV stations from 2002 to 2005. It portrayed a middle-low class family who lived in Jakarta in which the husband was a bajaj driver and the wife worked as a hairdresser.

Oh well, the Pendopo pictured here has barely nothing to do with Bajaj Bajuri anyway; unless you ask me who owns it :D

while waiting

greenery and things in between

They paved paradise and put up a parking lot
With a pink hotel, a boutique, and a swingin' hot spot
Don't it always seem to go
That you don't know what you got 'til it's gone
They paved paradise and put up a parking lot

They took all the trees, and put em in a tree museum
And they charged the people a dollar and a half to see them
Don't it always seem to go
That you don't know what you got 'til it's gone
They paved paradise, and put up a parking lot

Hey farmer, farmer, put away your DDT
I don't care about spots on my apples,
Leave me the birds and the bees
Don't it always seem to go
That you don't know what you got 'til it's gone
They paved paradise and put up a parking lot

Listen, late last night, I heard the screen door slam
And a big yellow taxi took my girl away
Don't it always seem to go
That you don't know what you got 'til it's gone
They paved paradise and put up a parking lot

-Big Yellow Taxi, originally by Joni Mitchell

at the zoo on easter day

Happy easter :)

the last page of my sketchbook

Having a sketchbook that accompanies me this last one year is almost like having an alter ego. Its pages express my feelings while I quietly draw in one corner of the world. Finally, it records the journeys I had, places I've been, and gives a sense of flash back along with the events in between times. It surprisingly helps me to be more patient.

So when it comes to the last page, I kinda feel... lost. At first I thought if someday I ran out of sketchbook, I could easily replace it with the new one. As a matter of fact, I can't.

And this is a scene I drew on the last page of my sketchbook.

the room i've always wanted

White walls, black stone steps, white framed windows and sliding doors, a balcony, raised wooden floor, an empty studio which walls could be painted and repainted, working on things I like. Maybe someday.

'Contemporary Archeology Chapter Two',

Sigi Arts, Blok M, Kebayoran Baru, South Jakarta.

Better preview of the sketch.

My friend's shots of the exhibition.

This exhibition on the gallery's website.

tolerance

Seeing the sad condition of this country lately when a relatively minor religious issues are potentially triggering bloody conflicts has sicken me. I am, as I've always stated, not a religious person. However as a human, seeing other people killed for choosing or even simply being something that is not the same as popular commons makes me really wonder, and finally relate to this elementary school thing which always repeated on and on every year as we can find in the Civics subject: Inter-religious tolerance.

I recently feel there is something wrong with the phrase. Something has lost in translation while fully understanding the meaning of the word 'tolerate'. It has the sense that something or someone is the normal and the truest of all things, and s/he lets the other who is outside her/his normal do things by her/his authority. At one point when s/he can not tolerate anymore, bad things will follow.

Here are the definitions of the word 'tolerate' I found in my computer's dictionary:

tolerate |ˈtäləˌrāt|

verb [ trans. ]

allow the existence, occurrence, or practice of (something that one does not necessarily like or agree with) without interference : a regime unwilling to tolerate dissent.

• accept or endure (someone or something unpleasant or disliked) with forbearance : how was it that she could tolerate such noise?

• be capable of continued subjection to (a drug, toxin, or environmental condition) without adverse reaction : lichens grow in conditions that no other plants tolerate.

Let me give you a case of tolerance. Someday in school, you had a math lesson. This teacher gave you a task to do ten complicated questions to be solved in 30 minutes. Apparently, the task is too hard for you that you couldn't finish it on time. So your teacher gave you ten minutes tolerance, wishing her/his students would finish the task. Your teacher didn't mean to respect you when s/he gave you time tolerance. It was simply because you couldn't meet her/his standard when doing the given work. In other words, you were not 'the normal' of your teacher. What if the teacher couldn't tolerate you? S/he will be very angry about this.

Other example is when you say 'I will not tolerate erratic behavior.' It indicates that there are some acts that other people do, but those acts do not meet your custom or idealism, and in some way you can not deal with them. 'Erratic' itself means 'not even or regular in pattern or movement'. The word doesn't even mean a bad thing. Only something not regular.

It is clear for me now why some people will not just let their friends -fellow human- live peacefully with their own virtue. I guess we are miseducated, being told that we are the truest, while other people with other preferences are just within our tolerance. So what is wrong with people with other religious believes than you? As long as they don't scar your being and way of life, they shall not be merely tolerated. They shall be RESPECTED for whatever their believes are. If you can not respect other people's choice, whereas her/his choice is legal and clearly stated in this country's constitution, then how will you respect other aspect of life?

night sketching

Go here for a better preview.

superconsumersim

Maybe Lunar New Year (along with Christmas, Eid ul-Fitr, Easter, and even Mother Day) has lost its true meaning. It is now just a theme for every mall's decoration and discount season.

Happy Lunar New Year anyway :)

what else would you want?

A weekend, a peaceful small town, almost impossibly cheap yet delicious meals, bright weather, the sand and salty water, the blue sky, a great group of companion; a beach of our own. What else would you want?

P.S.: She's surely a great photographer. See her shots of this trip here.

P.P.S.: My picture with the dog is hers.

cliche

cli·ché

–noun

1. a trite, stereotyped expression; a sentence or phrase,usually expressing a popular or common thought or idea, that has lost originality, ingenuity, and impact by long overuse.

2. (in art, literature, drama, etc.) a trite or hackneyed plot, character development, use of color, musical expression, etc.

3. anything that has become trite or commonplace through overuse.

[found this at the Faculty of Art and Design, Institut Teknologi Bandung]

someday we will meet again

Dear friend,

I read your blog yesterday. Yes, the old posts you wrote. Very thoughtful and beautiful. They reminded me of those days of twenty-something talks. Premature but somehow brilliant thoughts about life, the culture, the surroundings.. Restless minds questioning every single thing on earth: the causes and consequences.

Funny to look back how we became a friend. We were the opposite of each other, we came from extremely different backgrounds, yet we shared so many similarities. We have relatively same generalizations on things. I will never regret all conversations and discussions we did, and I thank you for all knowledge and motivation. It is your writings that encourage me to keep writing. Also for the good times and (mostly) depressive times.

I saw you when you were disappointed and finally lost your faith. I know how it feels and none of us want to go back to that time. Now that you've found your decision of what you're going to do, go for it. Wash away the sadness, throw away your fear. I've learned that in some way it is okay to not knowing what you will be in life, as long as you like what you're doing now.

I imagine myself sketching lot of things, reading lot of books, writing lot of transcripts, and I have no idea what profession it is. I believe, in your very rich and colorful mind, you have a vision of what you'll be doing in life, without necessarily naming it. I believe, you will be good in your future field.

So long my friend, someday we will meet again with great stories from each of us. Wishing you wonderful adventures, like what you've always dreamed.

a coward

New year, new year. I hope it's not too late to deliriously talk about resolution. Well. I'm not about to write down a list of aims or things I wish to be.

Anyway. Resolution is actually a promise to one's self that s/he will do or not do something, or a target -may it be a simple one or a more complex thing, merely for fun or truly as an urgency for its possible consequences- that someone needs to accomplish. By any means, resolution supposed to give hope and motivation to whoever wishing it. The thoughts and energy in pursuing resolutions should be positive. But, after a long way of efforts and when you finally reach your goal, what's next?

My last list of resolution was back in 2004, in high school. Back then, I wrote every single thing I wanted that I thought would make me happy. I did meet most of my wishes, but I never imagined any chain of details following them years later, nor the gruesome uncertainty of the life after it. It was revealed that being happy at one moment is not equal the ultimate happiness of my entire life, although once I thought it would be.

This is what I call a phase of life. It takes time for realization and it costs us frustration. Or else, it may be just (another) twenty-something hesitation without any knowledge on how to cure it.

Ever since, I stopped making resolutions related to my future life or career. I think I'm not ready to face another disappointment. Yes, I am a coward. For now, I only wish for two things this year: [1] a Yamaha Silent Guitar SLG-100s; and [2] to drink more beer. And I will need this damn cool wallet for the last thing I mentioned:

image source

life crisises

If you are in your mid 20s, physically fit but you feel like you're emotionally unstable, mentally distracted, intellectually disrespected, financially insecure although you know you aren't that bad but anyway everything just seems wrong, then you are in your quarter life crisis. And if you think this situation is truly depressing, try mid life crisis.

His name is Pak Samiran, aged early 40s. He is in the army, but doesn't serve as a soldier -you know, the war and weapon things. Instead, he serves as a driver. Not a tank driver as you might imagine: he's just a driver; a driver of someone whose position is way much higher than him. Which means, he drives for his master's wife, children, and also friends of children -now that, includes me. And this was what happened:

Due to my best friend's wedding, I needed to take care of everything entrusted to me, but my friend insisted that I should not drive. So I ended up being a passenger of the committed driver, Pak Samiran. Two days were really enough for me to know general things that matters to him. On his age, he feels embarrassed about his job, which was why he tried his fortune to level up his position in the army, which he failed.

Not that being a driver is a bad thing, but we never really know what's inside someone's mind. He might not be aware that everybody else might be very thankful to have a driver like him. For him, he's just another looser. And he continued to sigh and told me his worries over his life, although he endlessly tried to accept whatever he got. Then he started to compare himself to other people who has succeed (mostly financially) in her/his relatively young age, and told me when he was at my age, he felt the most happiest since he was still single, free, weightless and reckless.

Despite his sadness and anxiety, he reminded me to not only look up, but also look down. You may feel so unfortunate but you have to realize, that hundreds or thousands people aren't luckier than you; they may even be poorer and pitier. So be thankful anyway.

I figured out, he's in a severe mid life crisis. And I foolishly thought being 20something is hard enough.

So, say hi to mid life crisis, I guess, some twenty years later.

January 1st, 2011

Hello, Mbak Wanda.

I found it amazing how the days guide us to meet certain, specific people; and it becomes more amazing to know that they are the really right persons to help us keep our life going.

We were in the same high school, also the same university, and nobody will understand why we met and became friends only a couple years ago. I can not explain neither why the quality of our friendship feels like home, at least for me. It is like finding an old buddy with whom I grew up together, although we didn't; a friend who won't change and accept me whoever I am, however bad I am. The friend who made me believe that blessings do exist. All these somehow changed my perception on time and life.

And I still have no idea how I ended up working together with your 'real' old friends, the ones that you call 'your inner circle'; the really best friends of yours. I am honored that you trust me for the big things on your big day.

Happy wedding Mbak Wanda and Mas Suryo. Happy starting a new family on a new year. From now on, you are no longer a wandering 'flying kid'. You are grown up. You have soared into the air, sharing goodness to your surroundings, and I do hope they go back to you and your future family.

I have a good feeling about this year. Hopefully.

Have a wonderful life :)

P.S.: this is the scenic view from room 844 you've requested to tag.

welcome 2011

*I supposed to post this yesterday, but the lame connection on new year's eve and a very busy day on January 1st delayed the greeting.

Happy New Year.

P.S.: it's one of the neighbor's firework.