Out of sudden, Mbak Wanda asked me: how did R. A. Kartini died at the age of 25?
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I thought it's just another ordinary daily question until I realized, they're at the same age. Mbak Wanda and R. A. Kartini. When I asked her, "why is it?" she said, "I want to be like her, die at her age. I wished it when I was very young, 6 or 8."
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"I do wait for it, in every single of my breath."
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Since I was a little kid until high school, I also wished for the same thing: to die young. In my cloudy mind, I always believed that I'd die at the age of 26, which is three years from now. Sounds careless, right? She asked me if I'm still wishing it, and to be honest, I don't know; maybe I don't care anymore.
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She told me things that she has planned; that she will someday write a letter of her last will, that she will give everything she has to her closests: her book case for her father, cellphone for mother, bed for brother, Mandy [her dog] for her boyfriend, diary for her best friend, and so on; and her blog for me. She told me how she whises it would be a memorial blog after her death. She talked as if she's really going to die in months. This might seems frightening, or ridiculous, like it's not going to happen. The *yea rite* thing which is a big joke for most twentysomethings. Yet nobody knows. When I came to a glimpse thought that it probably will come right, I was shivered.
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I'm amazed, how she has come to the virtue of her life. That she knows every single precious thing of her breath, then she's able to say: "okay, I'm going to die young" and put the most honest, heartfelt smile after saying it. While my statement about dying young seems to come out of depression.
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She's so inspiring. At the same time, I suddenly realized that the universe is working for me through everyone. Someone unique has opened my eyes so I see the world. Another intelligent one taught me to be strong by letting me do a big and massive thing. A funny person cheers me up these past days and together we did a crazy escape hehe. Finally, another splendid person saved my life more than once.
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There are a lot of people near you; but not all of them are around you. While you're still alive today, live your life like there's no tomorrow. It's how we should value everything, because we only live once.
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Kartini's parents arranged her marriage to Raden Adipati Joyodiningrat, the Regency Chief of Rembang, who already had three wives. She was married on the 12 November 1903. This was against Kartini's wishes, but she acquiesced to appease her ailing father. Her husband understood Kartini's aims and allowed her to establish a school for women in the east porch of the Rembang Regency Office complex. Kartini's only son was born on September 13, 1904. A few days later on September 17, 1904, Kartini died at the age of 25. She was buried in Bulu Village, Rembang.
d"25 tahun 5 bulan. Gw ingin meninggal pada usia Ibu Kartini meninggal :)"- mbak wanda
12 comments:
merinding saya baca postinganmu ini dai.
saya nulisnya juga merinding mbak kristanti.
gue 25 tahun nih tahun depan.
dulu gue takut mati! waktu SMP-SMA.. ngerasa belom ngerasain hidup..ngerasa pengen cepet dewasa..kerja..punya uang sendiri..punya pacar..bisa hidup di kaki sendiri.
dan sekarang.. secara teknis, yah.. gue udah ngerasain semua yang gue inginkan dulu (yah..walaupun gue belom ngerasain : kawin! haha). dan sampai titik ini, gue merasa pointless. sampai titik ini, gue merasa "so,what?".
dulu..gue pengen punya duit banyak..pengen kaya.. sekarang, gue ga pengen kaya.. gue pengen seadanya aja.
dulu..gue pengen macem-macem, pengen jadi arsitek terkenal, pengen punya biro sendiri.. sekarang, poin jadi arsitek itu udah mengabur.. tertelan semua poin kehidupan lain. gue pengen mengembalikan arsitektur jadi ilmu yang 'bener' (kaya yg pernah kita omongin)..iya pengen banget sih.. tapi so what?
ngerasa nggak sih..
sampai titik kehidupan ini.. semuanya jadi terasa 'kurang berarti', cita cita ya cita cita.
kata-kata ‘hidup masih panjang’ itu bikin cape. masa mau sih sepanjang hidup hanya "mengejar" cita-cita? (krn manusia ga akan pernah puas..cita2 itu akan terus bermunculan)
why don't we just slow ourself down, take notes of many interesting things in life, do whatever we think it will be good for others (and God)..
we only live once. so, STOP! stop running. just walk.. and see as much as you can.
(gile..panjang ya komen gue..hehe..sekalian curhat.. :p)
sebenernya lo tu komen, curhat, apa ngeblog vel? hehe.
gue juga vel, sama. pernah sangat ambisius mau jadi arsitek hebat, jadi orang yg bisa macem2, punya uang sendiri, tinggal sendiri [kalo yg ini ue msh pengen hahaha] ngebayanginnya enak kali ya, kalo bisa bener2 punya hidup yg gue atur sendiri semuanya.
tapi semakin ngejar hal itu, semakin jauh pula gue dari 'puas'. bahkan ketika mulai nongol pikiran tentang 'hidup yg hanya sekali dan itu juga gak tau sampe kapan, bisa aja cuman sampe besok', tiba2 semua terasa sia2.
gue masih mengejar cita2. tapi mungkin udah nggak ky dulu lagi. gue mencoba selalu kembali ke 'value and virtue'nya si cita2 tersebut. termasuk yg lo bilang, mencari hal2 menarik yg kita jumpai dalam hidup. dan caranya bisa macem2.
and finally, yes. stop running. we're not chasing anything, nor in a hurry.
nah skrg gue jg ngeblog lagi di kolom komen haha.
gapapa la numpang ngeblog di blog orang..hehe.
iya nih,,hidup sendiri lebih enak sih dai. anda jadi diri anda sendiri, di kaki anda sendiri. that's why i dont want to work at jakarta, i'd prefer runaway to other cities. hehe. (ayooo..baliiii *tetep)
intinya, kita tetep bercita-cita.. tapi nggak pake "ngotot". :) calm down.. alon alon asal kelakon (dan hepiiii..) hehe
runaway... exactly what's in my mind as well :)
Dear Daija and friends,
We do have one life but not only one chance. We can choose what we will and what we like, not only what we need.. We decide part of life, as the whole is God's.
My will essense is not to die young. But how to die pridely with pure smile and as the truth human being.
Kartini spirit teached me deeply. Not about 25 years and 5 months.
Short or Long, the value and virtue of life is the quality of our life itself.
I have very best pal, Dyah Esti Sihani, we talk more at virtual life. That's why, my blog will be under her management after my death.
Thank you Dai, you make me touched.
W
* Remember, I do have some plans, but God has His own Wisdom.
ya, mbak wanda, memang bukan tentang mati mudanya, tapi tentang bagaimana lo sudah sedemikian mengenal diri dan kualitas hidup lo sehingga, bisa berkata: "mati besok pun nggak apa2."
which s very brave.
menyentuh bgt mba daia (tumben manggilny bener..) :p
but really..i was really touched by this post..dan semakin merasa kykny gue blm melakukan sesuatu yg berguna...hehehe..
*sepertiny guw tau siap tu yg sering escape..haha..:P dia emg suka gtu..escape mulu..xD
*eh yang suka eskep nongol hahahahahahahahaha*
nah skrg komen lo baru saja membuat gue menyadari bahwa akhir2 ini gue 'nggak berguna' T_T
aduh wanda.....
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